Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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