i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Reggie can tackle my bush.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
