NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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