I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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