it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize