i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
