Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
