This is not my ceiling
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
