Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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