addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
