Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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