My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
