I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
