I'm really into asian looking animals
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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