Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I could have mohawked her pubes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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