I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
