How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
