You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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