I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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