she woke up with a sticky ear
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
