Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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