I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
try to milk me bitch
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
