What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
