I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
