her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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