ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
