My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
