these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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