Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
