This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
