Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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