what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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