I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
