Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize