Do you still have your period?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
home. puking in laundry basket.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
