paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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