ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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