So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
