The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
