we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
