Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
