he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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