we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love having hate sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
