How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
