I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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