Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
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You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize