Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize