She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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