i think i have herpe
just one?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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