"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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