Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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