Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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