I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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