Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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