Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
