oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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