Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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