I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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