i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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